OK, so just an update on what we decided when we went back to the doctor.

we decided that we are going to do the fertility treatments one more time, the first couple of months we will keep the dosage low and if I'm not pregnant then we will up the dosage and go another couple of months. After six months if I am not pregnant we will go off the fertility and go back into surgery and take my left ovary out, then I will go on the shots to give my body a break for the rest of the year, because after all this and I'm still not pregnant I am going to definitely need a break!

on the other hand things are going pretty good, Kyle is doing really well in school and is soaking everything in, he has really surprised me on how much he has already learned he also gets to start his clinic time which he is excited about, less time of seeing each other but its okay he is working hard for the both of us!

I'm back to work and its okay, there are a few people there that don't understand what I am going through or what a lot of women who have endometriosis go through, but I don't expect them to completely understand but they should at least be somewhat respectful about the situation, oh well what do you do? I think a lot of people think that having endometriosis is just dealing with not being able or have a hard time getting pregnant when there is so much more about it.

Valentines weekend was amazing it was so nice to go out with Kyle, we didn't do anything big just a movie and dinner but it was great to spend time with him since we are both getting busy again! sorry I haven't taken any pictures lately I just haven't felt to creative or in the mood! hopefully soon I can update with something fun but on the other hand my life hasn't been that eventful and to tell you the truth its kinda nice that way at least for a little bit!

2ND TIME AROUND

This last week I had my second Laporoscopy surgery; this is how it went:


This year Kyle was able to go with to help him better understand the disease and process that we have to take.

early Tuesday morning we headed down to the hospital, we did the lab work and then headed up to my room for the day, of course one of the surgeons we behind in there schedule so I didn't end up going onto surgery until a little past twelve but it was alright, Kyle was in his big comfy chair doing his homework and I was in my bed with a bear claw hospital suit on ( its a hospital gown that has a pump that hooks up to it that blows hot air in the suit to keep you warm) watching TV.

About 10-15 minutes before I went into surgery the anathesiast (sp?) came in to talk to me about some different things he then gave me a relaxant to "calm my nerves" he said, and then walked out I didn't need the relaxant I wasn't nervous at all! about a minute later the last thing I remember was telling Kyle to text my mom and let her know when they take me back and then blank nothing at all I swear I was asleep but kyle said I was wide awake talking with him and the nurse and then they were ready to take me back I gave him a kiss and we said a prayer but I don't remember any of that at all, that must have been a strong relaxant!

I was in the recovery room and woke right up, last year I had difficulties waking up but this year I woke ready to eat (later I regretted that!) and was asking right away about what they had seen, my doctor came in the recovery room, which last year he didn't and explained that once again my surgery that only was supposed to last a hour lasted four just and hour short from last year. Once again there was so much endometriosis and scar tissue, and another large cyst that again was as big as an orange sat on my left ovary. The worst news it had spread farther up and throughout my body they found some endometriosis on my liver, But there was little good news this time, my tubes were clear, scar tissue free which is really good and even though I had another cyst forming on my right ovary it was a lot clearer than my left side.

So I was a little disappointed, I thought going into my surgery this year that it wasn't going to be long at all because I had had a surgery just a year ago and didn't think that it would have spread that fast and it even surprised my doctor that is had spread throughout my body that quickly and now we have to make sure it won't make its way up to my lungs, it was a surprise just like last year, but I do have a little more hope this time around with my tubes being clear now all we have to do is figure a way to make it so my cysts don't grow so big and block my eggs, which is going to be pretty tricky considering that I have polocystic cyst syndrome and that's what the disease does!

our next step....

well we are back to deciding to take the shots that will put me in a fake menopause to give my body a break or do fertility treatments and up the dosage on them. we have a week to decide and I am lost on what to do this time around my body sure could use a break and seeing how fast it all spread scares me, but then its like what the doctor said its gotten even more serious and my window of opportunity has gotten smaller, quickly. This is what he had suggested at the end of Feb we will start the fertility treatments with a higher dosage watching me carefully making sure we don't over stimulate my ovaries, we will do another 3-6 month trial. At three months we will go and do a ultrasound to watch my left side to make sure its not creating another massive cyst and if it hasn't we will keep doing the treatments then again at six months another ultrasound to check my left side if I am not pregnant at that time we will go off the fertility and the next month put me on the shots for the rest of the year, or if I do have a cyst at either ultrasounds they will take me into surgery again and take my left ovary out.

Taking my left ovary out scared me, but my doctor talked to me about it and explained a couple of things that somewhat made me feel better he thinks that if we took it out I would actually have a better chance of getting pregnant, so why didn't he just take it out during my surgery with that huge cyst I don't know I was a little confused myself, he actually wanted to but he didn't have my consent because he didn't think it was going to be as bad as it was, and like I said before neither did I so we both didn't think to bring it up.

All I can say now is that I am a little overwhelmed with it all and we are back to the beginning again and that frustrates me more than you know! I am and will be disappointed for a little while but I know at the same time if I am doing my part the Lord will do his.