The 3rd weekend of July was the best! It was our 2 year anniversary, and Kyle had it all planned out, everything was a big surprise!

Friday we went to Hotel Monico, we stayed here two years ago on our honey moon before we flew out to Hawaii, it is such a fun hotel and close to everything in downtown Salt Lake!

When we first arrived to the Hotel Kyle gave me a present! I had no clue what it was...

a Rebel XS!! I was so excited this camera is so expensive, he even bought it brand new I would have taken a used one its a little cheaper that way, Kyle is so amazing, I have wanted this camera for so long, but I wasn't expecting to get one until I was able to put some money away for it!

After I opened my present Kyle said to get ready, he was taking me out to eat somewhere special, I still had no clue where we were going until he started to head to cottonwood canyon he was taking me to La Caille! Kyle took me here 2 years ago the day he purposed, this restaurant is one of the top places in Utah to eat and have a wedding it is such a gorgeous place I love it! the cheapest plate they have is $52.00, how can we afford this I have no clue, but Kyle once again being such an amazing husband took me here! We even got to eat outside with a beautiful view, watching the geese, bunnies, and peacocks (sp?) run around us,underneath our table and we even had one jump up on our table! If you have a little money saved up and want a very romantic night I totally recommend La Caille!

Saturday, we walked down to gateway & walked around and decided to go to a great movie called Public Enemy, I know its rated "R" but there was no nudity or it doesn't say the "F' word at all, it is a really good movie! Later Kyle had another surprise planned this time I had no clue where we were going, we were in west Salt Lake and I have never been in that area before, and then he pulled into Hale Theatre! Kyle had reservations for us to see Hello Dolly, I was so excited! It was so good, there isn't one bad seat in the theatre! I am so lucky to have a husband who has no problem taking me to plays, the ballet, or symphony's and he even enjoys them himself!

other highlights of our anniversary was ordering delicious room service blue berry pancakes & eating it in bed! & spending time with that handsome guy! Kyle is such an amazing person with such a big heart! He works his butt off so that we can do things like this for our anniversary & I am so grateful for him not only because of the things he gives me but mostly because he is such a sweet compassionate person, he is always thinking of others he truly is an amazing person and I am extremely lucky and proud to be his wife!

Sunday morning we headed back to Sanpete to make Kyle's cousin's 16th birthday! Happy Birthday Chantel! we had some yummy BBQ hamburgers! Having fun visiting with family and having hand stand contests and chicken wars! We even got a chance to go Geo Caching that day!

2nd week!

The second weekend of July Kade and Meggan invited us out to Meggan family cabin, we had a lot of fun, it was a great little get away! I love going up to the mountains especially when we get to stay in a nice cabin with normal none stinky bathrooms! Brian and Michelle were up there with us making things even better Brian made us peach cobbler and Meg made us some tin foil dinners it was yummy!


We had so much fun we decided to stay an extra day, but we didn't really have anything to eat, so Kyle and Kade headed up to Cleveland to catch us some dinner! They came back with some pretty good catches but how were we going to cook them? After some improvising we came up with our own recipe!

we tried two different ways...... The 1st, we (kyle and kade) gut the fish & cleaned them out, grabbed some tinfoil & threw the fish in it, added some butter, a little bit of water, salt and slices of oranges, with a little bit of onion powder. where did we come up with all these things to put in with the fish, well that's all we had at the cabin! we did that with all four pieces of fish, wrap up the tinfoil around the fish and we put two in the fire and two on the BBQ and we cooked them for about a half hour! and when you eat them watch out for bones! They were DELICIOUS!! Lake trout is usually so fishy but these didn't taste fishy at all they were so good, tell you the truth I was very nervous about trying the fish I thought it was going to be so gross, but Kade and Kyle really surprised us!

This was the beautiful cabin we stayed in!

I love sitting by the fire chatting, eating smore's, and laughing!

Deja and Daddy, she is becoming such a daddy's girl its really cute! she does this thing where she will grab his face and do this little squeal! she loves her daddy!

Kyle gutting and cutting off the fish heads!





This is the finished product, like I said before it was really good!

Deja in her bumbo chair!

Deja and Megg dancing, she loves when her mom dances with her, she gets this huge smile on her face!

before we left home Kade and Kyle had to go fishing one last time! this was the catch of the day, the only one they got all day before it started to rain and thunder! It was such a great weekend, Thanks Kade and Meggan, hope we can do it again soon!

1st week of fun!

4Th of July

Later that night we went to Kade and Meg's house to watch the Stadium of Fire on there roof, we had another BBQ it was delish! and we had a lot of fun with everyone!

After the parade we went over to Kyle's uncle house and had a BBQ we had fun playing games, talking, and head stand/hand stand contests!

Kael was trying to figure out why it was OK for him to pick things up off the road and eat them, when he had tried it before mom got mad at him?

Everyone waiting for the parade to start so they can get all the candy!

Daddy & Deja watching the parade

Mommy & Deja waiting for the parade to start! Meggan had Deja dressed in her very cute 4Th of July outfit!

can you tell I love taking pictures of my niece and nephew!










Kael was so funny the night before the 4Th he had us laughing so hard! I love my nephew and his personality he is the funnest little boy! I hate how big he is getting but at the same time its fun seeing all the new things he is learning!

This was our 4Th of July weekend! we had a lot of fun all day long! The day was filled with one fun thing after another I love days like this!

Facelift anyone?

Its about 1:30 in the afternoon on a Thursday, & what am I doing? sitting on my lazy butt blogging, no I am not ready for the day, I'm still in my Pj's, not showered, No makeup, & my hair is a mess & I actually could care less!

Yep! you guessed it, its that time of the month (ya know that time of the month ladies;)) that time where I have been up since 4:30 this morning because of horrible, horrible cramps, backache, vomiting, and leg numbness. overdosing myself with extra strength Midol and Advil, just knowing exactly what the endometriosis is doing to my body. trying to hold in the tears until Kyle leaves to work and then I let it all out!

The tears because I am in pain, the tears because I am mad, frustrated, and let down.
the tears because after a very expensive but necessary surgery, I was only pain free for two months, after the fertility treatments of me driving kyle insane with my crazy mood swings, and of course once again getting my hopes up.

Why do I do this to myself??

Month after month, the same thing repeats itself, but this month it was different, really different, my body was doing things they did when I was pregnant for the first time, I had every single sign of being pregnant, we were so excited.

Once I started feeling the cramps and pain I got down on my knees and prayed the same thing I do every time this happens, over and over again

"Please Heavenly Father, let me be pregnant, let it be our time to be blessed with a child. I promise we will be good parents, great parents! Just let it be our turn."

Even after a obvious sign that I wasn't pregnant I still prayed hoping that it was just something like... The egg was implanting itself to the uterus?..... or One of my friends had periods through her whole entire pregnancy maybe that is happening to me?....& Is it possible I am having twins, excessive cramping and pain, with some bleeding, I did take fertility for a while??

why do I think these things, am I obsessive?? maybe, or do I just want to keep having faith that I am still pregnant?

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at that point where I just want to give up.

You know that saying, you tell people when they are going through something hard and they tell you they want to give up and you say "The Lord would never put you through anything you can't handle" or "You picked your own trials before you came down to earth"

I always try and tell myself that to try and cheer myself up, to keep me going but then I think

"Why the freak would I choose to go through all this, when that's all I've ever wanted?" why would I do this to myself?

I have been blessed to have a husband who wants me home with our kids, who understands why its important for the mother to be home with the kids if she has that opportunity, and we have been blessed to have those opportunities, Kyle's been lucky enough to find a job that can support us with only one working.

but for a while I thought, I would just go back to work ( ya, I say that like I have had a career or something) I will give him a little break so he doesn't have all the responsibility of supporting us.

easier said than done!

It has been two months and over 60 resumes, and only one interview (a very creepy weird one at that). I can't find a job anywhere, not only because of how the economy is but because I didn't go to college. I had no clue you could get a two year degree in college just to be a receptionist, but apparently that is what everyone is requiring. but I still applied to those jobs that require that thinking someone will just take a chance, nope no luck, I have even been praying about it, that I could find a good job that I would enjoy & then that's when I sarted getting signs and feeliing like I was pregnant, so I thought the Lord was saying "don't go back to work because I am sending you a little bundle of joy, and answering your prayers about being a mom"

Ya I know I over think everything!!!

so right now I am feeling like a total failure! I can't have a child, the thing I am longing for the most, & I can't get a job, I can't even get a stinkin job at Nordsrtoms, HA! not my favorite store anymore, & not just because I can't afford you anymore!

As I have been laying here in pain I feel like I need a face lift, a makeover, something to bring my spirit and confidence up!

what that is I have now clue, I am completely stumped on that one!?