where do I start?

I haven't posted anything on my blog for a while, my laptop got a virus so I couldn't and haven't loaded any pictures not that I have taken a lot, cause I haven't! I have been pretty boring lately!

I am completely healed from the surgery and feeling great! Kyle and I got a gym member ship and have been going together it is a fun way to spend time with each other helping each other achieve some goals that we have. we then went to my clomed check and the doctor said I couldn't work out because it will mess up my ovulation and I need to take it easy and he even told Kyle that he needs to not go "full out" while he works out, we were both a little bummed about that and it sucks that I can't go with him anymore & I was loving the way I felt!

Things are getting better with my family, slowly but better and that's all I can ask for is that we can all work on things getting better, it does make me proud seeing how hard they all are working!

No babies yet, we thought I was pregnant, I was 4 days late and I have never been late and then the day I was going to go into the doctors for a blood test I started, it was heart breaking, but that is how this whole infertile things goes its like a roller coaster!
Lately I've felt like I need to re-think a lot of things, not that we are making the wrong decisions just that I feel like I am a little lost with myself, I just keep noticing how everything is falling into place with so many people and things aren't really doing that for me personally like my life is stuck.

infertility really makes you think about your life, who you are and who you want to be. And I'm not sure anymore, I want to be a mother but if that doesn't happen, should I go back to school and if I do for what? or should we just move on to doing invetro but I don't want that to put us in more financial debt and more stress.

I'm just second guessing myself I'm loosing my faith because.... because I don't know why, I have so many emotions and thoughts its hard to figure them out and what I really need to do!

I'm stuck.

I need help, I need your prayers, please.