where do I start?
I haven't posted anything on my blog for a while, my laptop got a virus so I couldn't and haven't loaded any pictures not that I have taken a lot, cause I haven't! I have been pretty boring lately!
I am completely healed from the surgery and feeling great! Kyle and I got a gym member ship and have been going together it is a fun way to spend time with each other helping each other achieve some goals that we have. we then went to my clomed check and the doctor said I couldn't work out because it will mess up my ovulation and I need to take it easy and he even told Kyle that he needs to not go "full out" while he works out, we were both a little bummed about that and it sucks that I can't go with him anymore & I was loving the way I felt!
Things are getting better with my family, slowly but better and that's all I can ask for is that we can all work on things getting better, it does make me proud seeing how hard they all are working!
No babies yet, we thought I was pregnant, I was 4 days late and I have never been late and then the day I was going to go into the doctors for a blood test I started, it was heart breaking, but that is how this whole infertile things goes its like a roller coaster!
Lately I've felt like I need to re-think a lot of things, not that we are making the wrong decisions just that I feel like I am a little lost with myself, I just keep noticing how everything is falling into place with so many people and things aren't really doing that for me personally like my life is stuck.
infertility really makes you think about your life, who you are and who you want to be. And I'm not sure anymore, I want to be a mother but if that doesn't happen, should I go back to school and if I do for what? or should we just move on to doing invetro but I don't want that to put us in more financial debt and more stress.
I'm just second guessing myself I'm loosing my faith because.... because I don't know why, I have so many emotions and thoughts its hard to figure them out and what I really need to do!
I'm stuck.
I need help, I need your prayers, please.
15 years ago
3 comments:
Trials are so hard and this one for you seems to be one of those ones you never think will get better. From conference I got a big boost on how trails are hard no doubt but they are for our individual experience in learning and growing to be more like our father in heaven. I just wish, probabaly like you, that we knew when the dang trial would be over!!
Andy finished school a whole year ago and we thought by now after applying EVERYWHERE he would have a new job with a steady income which is not happening nor seems to be any time soon.All we seemed to have gotten out of it so far is 25,000 school loan debt.
That stuck feeling you talked about, I feel that way but over something completely different. We don't know where Andy will find a job or if he will, we are close to loosing our house and our payment was raised thanks to Obama,we tried to sell and it won't, we tried to refi and can't for bank disqualifying us so we are stuck not knowing the future or if I will even get hired anywhere.
I know this does not compare to having difficulty getting pregnant. But I do know we have to stay strong and get through it then look back and see what you have accopmlished because it will be something great!!
sorry about the novel
Lindy-
You probably know of me... but I went to school with your brother Kade. My sister had infertility for 11 years before finally being able to have one of her own. It took I believe 6 years to figure out that adoption was the thing that they were supposed to do. They adopted 2 beautiful african american kids, before having one of her own (you probably know Megan Brenchley from Ephraim.. she is my sister). I know you are fully aware of adoption and the joys from it.
Also, there is another option. I was talking with my chiropractor and he was telling me that he and his wife were really struggling with getting pregnant. He and his wife tried something called NAET for their hormones. It helped to regulate them. Amazing that some people can be allergic to their own hormones.... meaning your body fights against them so sometimes you don't have enough etc. Anyway, after being treated (for them it took one time and you don't have to take anything or do anything other then wear a vile against your skin for 25 hours), they were successful the following month getting pregnant. I don't know where you live, but there is an office that my family and I get ourselves done at in St.George that costs 115 for the first visit and 45 after that (if you need more then one... if you need more then one time then it will more then likely be something other then the thing you got treated for before.) I know it sounds like a lot of money, but it is well worth your health. My email address is foreverandalwayslala@yahoo.com if you would be interested in what I've told you. I'm not sure why I felt like I needed to type this, but I did. I hope that this helps in some way, if it doesn't, I hope somehow the comfort of peace will come your way. (ps.- this is Lauren Bateman)
I would just like to say that nothing is too big for God. I had 2 infected kidneys and God healed me right then and there. If he can heal me (a normal person) then I believe he can give you the desires of your heart. Just keep believing no matter what oppositions you might hear. It is amazing what FAITH can bring into our lives. I'm believing with you!
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