I can't go a day without talking to my Heavenly Father, I think its grown to be some kind of anxiety,...... not really! I have just learned that if I talk to him about my thoughts, concerns, & just to thank him for all the many blessings that we have my days go a lot smoother, and when I don't talk to him I feel lost.

This past year I have learned how to have a relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus, it was a hard year, and I had no one to lean on except for my Heavenly Father and Jesus.

When Kyle & I were prepairing to go through the Temple, for some reason I felt like when we went through it needed to be in July, I never knew why I felt that way but I did, and when our bishop told us that he didn't think we would be able to go through in July I was heart broken. I felt so strongly about going through on that date that I just had to go back and talk to him about it, with everything that my family had already been going through with all the investment stuff & my dad not being in a good place it was important to me that we went through then, my dad & family was holding on to a thin string & I needed it to be then, that month, that date, so he could go through with me.

The bishop said Ok, if I felt that strongly about it then ok!

It was a beautiful day filled with the spirit! and seeing my parents there together dressed in white just made it that much more special to me.

Two days later I got a phone call it was Gentry mad at my mom because she wanted to go to the movies with some friends & my mom told her no, my mom got on the phone and we got in an arguement and she hung up on me.

Later that day my phone rang agian,

It was my mom, I didn't want to answer it and I wasn't going to, but then I got a strong feeling

"answer the phone!" the voince in my head said strongly

I did my mom was crying and something was going on in the back ground.

"mom! whats wrong!"

"Lindy I need you to come home, I need you to be here,"

"why mom what happened, whats going on?" at that moment I thought of Gentry, she was mad earlier did she do something, then my dad, the investments, did something happen to my dad?"

"Lindy there was an accident, you need to come home, she was running in the back ground, a door opened then I heard crying"

"MOM WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO IS IT? IS EVERYONE ALRIGHT??"

"Brocky, they were in the Rhino, she's not going to make it"

My heart sunk I couldn't breath.

I was in a panic,after I got off the phone I ran to my room, grabbed my suitcase, grabbed all my clothes and threw them in my suitcase, I didn't know how long I would be in Utah I didn't care I just wanted to be with my family.

Kyle followed me to the gas station we filled up my car, he was trying to calm me down, he was going to come to Utah on Thursday he couldn' leave because of work.

my phone rang agian...

"Lindy" this time it was a small voice

"Brocky, hey buddy"

"Lindy I'm scared, I didn't mean to I was being careful, I'm sorry, I'm scared"

"I know bubbas I know, its not your fault ok"

"come home i'm scared"

"I'm coming, I will hurry as fast as I can Ok I will be there soon, just say a prayer talk to Heavenly Father he will help you feel ok!"

"Ok"

"bubbas I love you, its going to be ok"

"love you too"

All I remember from the drive is crying, and thinking why now, why after such a beautiful day? let every body be ok, don't take her yet please.

I made it to the hospital a little past 12 am, I walked into the hall to see friends and family sitting in the hall way, we sat together and cried.

Hours later at my parents house while I was lying on the couch I kept asking the same questions, why now? why after such a beautiful day at the temple with my family? is this why I felt so strongly about going through on that day, on that month? was that day in the temple supposed to be for my family so they could hold on just a little longer to the tiny string through one more giant trail, was it to remind us about how important our family is to each of us, how important it is to be sealed together for all eternity?

Because you never know even after such a beautiful day.

It has been a long bumpy road back to smiles, & laughter, long road back to feeling ok again, that no matter what trial we go through our Heavenly Father is there for us we just have to talk to him and he will be there to comfort us and help us with each step, & climbing up that thin string onto the right path.

There are many trials we have to go through, but we are making it, all of us & the only reason we are making it, is because we are so very greatful for our many many blessings, we are staying close together helping each other through thick and thin, and being close to our heavenly father and Jesus talking to them each and every day no matter if its a concern, a fear, a thank you, or just to talk about your day, to have that relationship with him can help you through anything!

I am so grateful for my family & the closeness i have with them

For Kyle's job, for my family members having a job

For our home

For all the opportunities I have to go to the Temple

and the power of Prayer.

I had to share this with you because I have been thinking a lot about the Temple these days, how I haven't been for a couple of months ( & i am very ashamed of myself for not going) The amazing peaceful feeling, the strong spirit & how Chris, Kailee & kael are going to be able to experience that together as a family like we did that beautiful day! They are going to be sealed for all eternity this Saturday & we just want them to know how proud we are of them! & how special its going to be! We love you guys & we can't wait to see you!