The Good & The Bad

The surgery is done and over with and now I am laying in bed trying to recover. I really hate this part, the laying in bed. It drives me insane to lay here like this as long as I have to. I am bored out of my mind and I am sick of watching movies.I finally convinced Kyle into taking me for a short ride in the car yesterday, that was a bad idea.

This time the recovery is a little different than it has been in the past two years. Physically its longer and mentally well I'm just not sure about how I feel right now, its different.

We arrived at the hospital at six that morning, there was no one there just me and Kyle and the nurses. I was the first surgery scheduled for the day. My name was called to go back for all my blood work, I have scars on my arms from all the blood work I have had done. It used to freak me out, needles and all but now it doesn't bug me one bit. Now I have to watch them put the needle in my arm.  We then were directed up to the 4th floor which is the surgical floor. I checked in with the nurses there and we signed all the legal paperwork and then I was showed to my room for the day.
I got changed into the hospital gown and layed in bed thinking it was going to be like all the other years and we would then wait for four-five hours but we waited about a half hour and the nurses came back in to put my IV in, I then talked to the anesthetist and then Dr. B. It was weird this time I felt a little rushed. The next thing I know they were wheeling me to the surgical room.

I woke up in the recovery room with the nurses yelling at the guy next to me telling him to breathe! He had a bad reaction to the anesthetics, its scary I did that last time...

I woke up, I was in my room with Kyle by my side and my mom at my feet she smiled at me and asked how I was doing...

I woke up with the nurse asking if I was in any pain, I told her yes closed my eyes but could hear my mom tell Kyle that she had to go and that she would stop by the apartment later...

I woke up with the nurse telling me I needed to eat and asking what I wanted I didn't know so i just told her the first thing that came out of her mouth was fine.. she brought some back I ate one and layed my head back down...

I woke up telling Kyle and the nurse that I needed to throw up she said, let me get you something to make it so you don't, I told her no, that I wanted to throw up so I could start feeling better. I couldn't, I didn't have anything in my system...

I woke up having to throw up again and finally did, oh thank goodness! I told Kyle I wanted to go home..He got the nurse to bring our papers she then started the very long process of explaining things to Kyle and I to be able to sign off on the discharge papers. In the middle of explaining I dozed off my nurse snapped me back, I got irritated and told her I have done this two times before I know what to do.

She finally brought the wheel chair, loaded me in our car and we headed home.

I woke up in the parking lot of our apartment complex puking my guts out, made it into my bedroom and puked my guts out again.

Let just say the rest of the night I couldn't keep anything down not even a sip of water, no joke. I would literally have a sip of water and a minute later throw it up and for the next 10 min dry heave. It was horrible. It hurt my stomach so bad.

About 11 that night I finally sucked on a cough drop, the only minty thing we had at the moment and I was fine but starving. I ate a whole loaf of bread, seriously a whole brand spankin new loaf of bread and then I was out the rest of the night.

The next day when I actually knew what was going on Kyle told me I was only in surgery for 2 hours, 2 hours! Usually I am in there for 4-5 hours. But I was in recovery for 6 ha! I really don't do good with being put under it makes my body relax a little too much and I get extremely sick.

The Good news.. there was no endometriosis on my liver at all this time (last year it was covered) there was some on my abdominal cavity, none on my right ovary, both my right and left ovarian tubes were clear, only a little on my uterus and other than that no where else, that is really good news. It means we have finally caught up with it and keeping it somewhat under control!

The bad news...from the other surgeries and damage of the endometriosis there was a lot of scar tissue, my cyst had went from a 10cm to a 15cm the largest I have had, the entire cyst and ovary was covered in endometriosis and when they cut out the left ovary they found a lot of endometriosis that they couldn't get to in the years past, they also found cancer on my ovary and cyst. Dr B says if we wouldn't have gone in and did the surgery and if they didn't cut out that ovary they wouldn't have found the cancer in time, he said given it another 8 months to a year I would have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, depending on how fast it was spreading. So Dr B. searched and looked all over and didn't see any signs of the cancer anywhere else. He is pretty confident that when he cut out the ovary and the endometriosis that he got all the cancer.

I am so thankful that we went in when we did, it scares me to think that the cancer was even there. I am also thankful that I have been doing the surgeries so that we could catch up to this decease and see the cancer before it got really serious.

Our next step, I have no clue. Dr. B wants to get me on clomed ASAP, he thinks now that we took out the left ovary we have a good chance of getting pregnant keeping in mind that there is still a lot that comes into play with endometriosis than just the ovaries. And we will of course be keeping a better eye on my body!
I just don't know if I am ready to jump right back in there with all the treatments again, its such a emotional and physical roller coaster and with the scare we had this time I'm a little freaked out and I have a lot to think about I guess. I am relieved about the good news but scared about the bad news, I don't even know if any of it has really hit me.
Time will tell, right now I just need to recover... and count my blessings.