So I have debated on writing this post, why? because I am sick of complaining when I know so many people have more horrible things to deal with. Today was the day I have been waiting for, for quite a while. I had built up nerves, I was trying to stay positive to the point where I got my hopes up, I always do that to myself! today was my doctors appointment, by the time I got out of my doctors appointment I felt like I had been hit in the stomach and my heart had been ripped out of me and stomped on. I went in there with a positive attitude and came out with nothing I didn't know what to say I didn't know how to react and I still don't.
The doctor came in and we talked about what has been going on:
The horrible pain
migraines
dizziness
horrible horrible pain
vomiting
not being able to use the restroom with out crying
weird dull pain in my shoulder
cysts
infertile
& some more horrible pain
not being able to move or function in this horrible pain.
she then looked at me, and said straight out I have no doubt in my mind that you have stage four endometriosis, there are four stages in endometriosis 1 being the least and 4 being the worst, she then told me why it was so painful & and this is for all you non-believers who think I can just deal with it! the horrible pain I am feeling isn't just a normal cramp its actually a contraction, like giving birth naturally so all you lucky ones get the normal cramps while I am going through labor once a month and that's why I am always tired & don't have any energy! she then told me what was going to happen in two weeks:
I will go in for surgery they will cauterize (burn) all the scare tissue and clean everything up, then give me a shot for 4 months that will completely shut down my ovaries, now the part Kyle is so excited for I will then go into a temporary menopause ya the whole hot flashes, moodiness, night sweats, the shot is giving my uterus and ovaries a break and cleaning all the endometriosis out that they couldn't get to, then I will get off the shot and wait up to 2 months for my body to go back to normal and start ovulating again and then we can try to have a child, Yes there is still a small chance for a child! a year later I will go through it all over again! so the good news out of all this is we might be able to have a child of our own the part that really gets me down is we can't start trying again for another 7 months that broke my heart I was so naive about the whole thing! and everyone just keeps telling me to be positive and I know I need to be but I also need to work through my feelings about the whole thing, so right now I'm not positive about it I'm sorry I know that sounds selfish and I just need to be patient but the whole things just sucks that's all I can say! it just completely sucks!
15 years ago
8 comments:
Hi There,
I clicked somewhere on Little Sussy and ended up on your blog post. My sis-in-law had (has?) endometriosis and now has 3 children and is pregnant. If you want someone to talk to about it and what procedures she either had or considered, you can email her at heidi.stanger@gmail.com.
Good luck and I hope the best for your situation.
Stasha Ashton
You have every right to be bummed! Be mad! Kick something.. not a dog or Kyle! But really its ok to be angry. But who knows what the future will bring. Good luck with it all. Let me know when your surgery is and I'll bring you guys up some dinners!
I'm sorry you have to go through this. And yes, you do have a right to be mad and upset...just get it all out! I know it's hard when all your friends and family are having babies and even girls getting pregnant in high school, you wonder why me? Why can't I have one? I've never had to go through something like this but I have friends that have and it does suck!!! So, I'm truly sorry that you are having such a hard but just try to hang in their...hopefully time will heal:)
BTW---I'm so glad you consider adoption, but I know you want one of your own!!! We will pray for u!
Liddy,
It's your parents old neighbor, Jan Rostron, I hope you don't mind but I follow your blog (mostly to see if I can catch a glimpse at how your parents are doing, I miss them)....anyway, I too have (and do have) endometreosis....the doctors said it was a miracle that I got pregnant with Kody and Kolton; but, it took me five years to get pregnant with Kaylee. We went through fertility treatments and everything...it is a terrible thing to go through. But, I want you to know something that was said to me in my patriarchal blessing...."In the Lord's time....." I know that doesn't help; but, now that I look back i was being prepared for her and for her brothers....I had to learn to trust in the Lord....it didn't really help with the pain and unless you have experienced it yourself, no one can really understand how it feels. I ended up having a hysterectomy...so we couldn't have anymore children; but, I do feel blessed for what I have been given....just be patient...you are young and strong....you CAN do this...and believe me, it will be worth it....ironically, we finally got pregnant when I stopped trying...weird huh!! Just know you are in our thoughts and prayers....take care and good luck!
It's good to know that the docs can try and help. Hope everything gets better. Your in my prayers lindy
That SUCKS! I had no idea you were dealing with so much...I hope things work out and that you get feeling better!
Lindy I kinda know how you feel.I just got everything cleaned out and am still having problems. I am so sorry that you have to go through this as well. I have come to realize that we all have different callings in life. At first I was so mad and cried all the time, but now I realize that if it's meant to be then it will happen on it's own time, on the Lord's time. Some one told me once that if you tell the Lord your plans he will laugh. It is so true. We know what we want when we want it but maybe the Lord doesn't have it planned out quite the way we do. Just know that your not alone. Everything will turn out the way it is suppose to. We'll look back in years to come and be happy things turned out the way they did and realize it was really all just a big growing experience. Good Luck, your a trooper!!
Hey You,
I haven't talked to either you or Kyle in forever... I am so sorry to hear your news, I can't even imagine how you must feel. If there is anything I can do for you guys please let me know. I am excited to be able to talk to you through blogging though!! Good Luck
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